The high points of my year, in review

Yup, nothing at all.

Standing at the crossroads..

I'll just put it out here, I fucking despise my course. Its engineering by the way, in case some of you aren't in the know. Its not just the fact that its tough as hell, its also the fact that I just don't get what the hell is going on. I know the formulas, the theories and everything, I just don't GET it. And herein lies the biggest problem. I studied as hard as I could for my midterm, was quite confident in the examination hall doing the paper, and now find out I got below the median mark. And that was me being confident and answering almost all questions!

I just don't want to keep fooling myself anymore. I can't get engineering, period. I really want to leave and do another course, but this brings another problem. I'm fucking 20, and whatever I decide to do after this, I have to start from scratch again. On my 21st birthday next year someone is gonna ask me what my plans are, and I'm gonna say I just started my foundation studies. Thats messed up in itself isn't it? On top of that, I don't know how my parents would take it. I already wasted their money in Nottingham, and now its repeating at MMU. I don't think they're gonna support me starting afresh, AGAIN. Heck, I don't think they could even afford to financially support me even if they wanted to. Adding to that, I'm going to be a huge disappointment to them, especially when people ask what their eldest son is doing. "Oh, he switched colleges again?" would be the most common reaction, with a sly snicker behind their backs.

So yeah, I'm a wreck. What have I achieved since SPM? Nothing at all. How does my future in this course look? Bleak. I don't think I can ever feel as big as a loser as I do know. Should I switch courses? I want to. The problem is, I have no idea what I want to do, thats the biggest fork on the road. But if you asked me to answer straight away, I would say something to do with event managing or something along that line. I'm a people person, not a quantum physics machine person. Does this mean I should take up Mass Comm? If so, where? Or am I suited to another type of career path?

Notice the amount of questions I have, doesn't really sound like a guy in control of his life, does it? I admit that. But what can I do? I tried, I really tried....

Omegle pwnage!!!

Yeap, was so bored I actually paraded around Omegle as a horny 15 year old cheerleader from SoCal! I just randomly searched up a profile and found one that fit my description, and asked a dude from Turkey to add 'me' up and send 'me' a horny message to my inbox. Lolololol, that girl must be in for a shocker when she logs into her Facebook account and finds a perverted unknown stalker!!!!!

PS; Pics or gtfo below!

5 Weddings and a Funeral

Finally, for the first time in more than a year, I've been letting loose and actually not giving a shit about anything! And I have to be honest, it does feel good, very good for that matter. Saying that, I also think that it could also be attributed to the fact that out of the past 7 nights, I've been drunk once and stone four times. Well, I needed a break, sue me.

PS; Below is the best stoner/sex song, PERIOD!

If there's a God then why does he let me go?

"I'm waiting in my cold cell, when the bell begins to chime.

Reflecting on my past life and it doesn't have much time.

'Cause at 5 o'clock they take me to the Gallows Pole,

The sands of time for me are running low...

Running low--ooohhh...

When the priest comes to read me the last rites,

I take a look through the bars at the last sights,

Of a world that has gone very wrong for me.

Can it be that there's some sort of error?

Hard to stop the surmounting terror.

Is this really the end, not some crazy dream?

Somebody please tell me that I'm dreaming,

It's not easy to stop from screaming,

But words escape me when I try to speak.

Tears flow but why am I crying?

After all I'm not afraid of dying.

Don't I believe that there never is an end?

As the guards march me out to the courtyard,

Somebody cries from a cell "God be with you".

If there's a God then why does he let me go?

As I walk my life drifts before me.

Though the end is near I'm not sorry.

Catch my soul, it's willing to fly away.

Mark my words believe my soul lives on.

Don't worry now that I have gone.

I've gone beyond to see the truth.

When you know that your time is close at hand,

Maybe then you'll begin to understand

Life down here is just a strange illusion.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...Hallowed be Thy name

Yeah, yeah, yeah...Hallowed be Thy name

Yeah.................................."

~Iron Maiden - Hallowed Be Thy Name

God, I just listened to this song again after a year of abstinence. Can anyone really argue with these lyrics? Brilliant, one of the best compositions ever created. Every line hits you at your core, no holds barred. For me personally, I know that when I'm at that stage at the end of all ends, facing that last long road heading off into the horizon, this is the song thats going to be in my head, my life mantra. I can't really say much more, words doesn't do it justice. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of listening to Iron Maiden, here you go:

Zombieland!

Love is in the air..

Yeap, I'm so in love with her right now. Her smile just makes me.........................

See, I can't even type when think about it, I just get so weak and numb when I recall that smile of hers. Her smile is like...........

Ah, forget it, you get the point! Omg, she even asked me to come to McD and she'll blanjer me ice-cream! I don't know what else to say. All I can think about now are beautiful butterflies, late movies, roses and wild primitive sex. I'm out!

I love Mr.Azizan!!

Look at that download speed! Damn I love my neighbour's wifi!!!! Haha!!